So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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