happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
