I'm really into asian looking animals
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
