If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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