eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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