i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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