it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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