I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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