There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
