This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
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we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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