I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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