Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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