I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
