so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
