their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
did i walk over a car last night?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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