i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
