careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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