Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
ttyl tear gas
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
