woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
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he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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