I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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