Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
