i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
