If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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