I hate all girls vehemently.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
