The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize