I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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