OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
