Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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