you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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