Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
