she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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