worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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