Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Randomize
