Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
