I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
