So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You can't just leave with hair like that
third nipple confirmed
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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