this beer tastes like vomit already
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
