I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
