Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize