Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
