Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize