It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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