The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
there was a trapeze. enough said
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
