She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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