Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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