I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
