He kissed a someone with a penis
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
