The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
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His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Is it penis luge time yet?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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