Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
