Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
