All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
