shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
