I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
