The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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