Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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