dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he was CRYING into my vagina
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize