I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
