we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize
