Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
