I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
