she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
