That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
