So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
