that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
